Are we raising the next generation of bullies and meangirls? 🙍😠😱
Updated: Jan 16, 2018
Growing up there were cliques. It was inevitable I guess. I went to an arts high school and there were the dancers, artists, band, drama students etc. However, my “clique” was EVERYONE. I did not discriminate nor did I hang out with those that discriminated others for whatever reason (why is there still discrimination in this day and age?!) When asked “were you apart of the ‘cool or nerdy’ crowd?” What do you mean crowds? I totally get it now but in all honesty growing up I hung out with EVERYONE under the sun, different colors, religions, socio-economic status you name it I was apart it. But I do remember those solid groups that “stuck” together until graduation. No letting anyone “new” in. Do kids realize that they are indirectly bullying? It seems harmless doesn’t it? No physical pain but it does mentally destroy that shy, introverted teenager that wants the recognition from that particular group? She wants in, she wants to sit with them at lunch, she wants to be with the cool kids. She’ll then create this story in her head that she isn’t good enough. Insecurities, fear and uncertainties begin to flood through her brain. Teenage years are the absolute worst BUT they somewhat shape us into the adults we are today.
Recently I’ve witnessed these types of attitudes at some Mommy/Baby groups I’ve attended. We attend these classes so we can belong to something. We enjoy the company of other Mom’s because they “get it”.
We seek acceptance because we feel as though we are lost and for some us don’t know where we belong anymore. So with all this being said please don’t isolate one another within the group. We long for that recognition just like you do. It reminded me of High School😣 these are the “mean Moms” 😯 I never in a million years thought that this would continue into Motherhood? Is it about status? Because sorry honey last time I checked…WE ARE ALL LOSING OUR SHIT AND WE ALL LOOK LIKE THE WALKING DEAD #realtalk. So I ask this: are we indirectly raising the class bully or the ring leader of the mean-girl squad?
Children replicate our actions. When they see Mommy/Daddy talking to EVERYONE s/he will copy. They won’t discriminate because they will illustrate what they witness. If Mommy/Daddy are selective and just flat out rude well unfortunately you’re raising a self-centered A-HOLE and a grade A mean girl.
I hope and wish for my daughter to view me as a compassionate and genuine individual. I instill acceptance in her by being around a variety of people. I want her to be involved with “everyone” most importantly I want her to accept everyone for whom they are. She is her own person yes, but I for the most part am her biggest role-model. She will replicate what I (my husband as well) say, do, act you name it, our children are our carbon copy. You just hope and pray they follow the values and morals you have instilled in them.
So is it safe to say it has a lot to do with our upbringing? And are we indirectly raising bullies?
My parents did a DAMN good job in raising my brother and I. They taught us about love, sincerity, being genuine, compassionate, empathetic and most importantly they taught us what RESPECT is all about. They also taught us to stand up for ourselves. We were lucky.
As an adult I see SO MANY individuals that are clearly missing the mark on many of life’s vital and crucial elements. Sometimes I use the remark “they were raised by a pack of wolves” but they really do replicate the dog eat dog type of world mentality. It’s sad. I actually feel for them. What’s sad is that they have procreated and they have offspring of their own that will unfortunately follow in their foot steps.
Going back to the isolation found within Mommy groups. Your actions speak louder than words. There are many Moms that suffer from anxiety and postpartum depression and the fact that they are out of the house let alone trying to reach out is a HUGE accomplishment for them. So just stop. You know exactly what you are doing. You’re being the mean Mom. You’re intimidating and scaring that insecure Mom that sits alone with her baby in the corner. I am sure you ladies have awesome personalities, are outgoing and super nice…so why don’t you go up to that lonely Mom that looks like she needs a nap and say HI and talk to her and have her join in on the conversation. You have no idea how good you will make her feel. You literally just gave her hope that she can hack this whole Motherhood thing😉
Bottom line: our children will follow in our footsteps. So if you hate bullies and meangirls as much as the next person STOP BEING ONE YOURSELF. ✌❤
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