Enough with the crap already😲😲
Updated: Jan 16, 2018
As you can probably gather this post is a bit of a rant but trust me it will all make so much sense by the end of it.
Change, the good, the bad and the ugly
One night this past week my husband and I were lying in bed talking…whispering really we couldn’t risk making any noise (she had finally gone down for more than 15 minutes😣) ANYWAYS! So some of the questions I found myself asking him were “am I doing enough? Are you happy?” Then I caught myself, “Why the heck am I worrying about all this added stress when I hadn’t gotten any sleep in almost 72 hours?!” this my friends is what society does to us (women more so than men, let’s be honest) its not something to proud of, quite frankly it really drains me. Worrying if we are doing everything possible for our kids, husband’s, bosses and friends. We are human and we crack and we are allowed to crack. I always find myself asking my husband “am I doing enough? Have I changed since having the baby?” Why am I associating this new “change” negatively? Maybe it’s exactly what needed to happen at this point in our lives. But let me tell you, change can be scary and I think that is why I associate this change as something negative because I miss the old me and this new life is hard getting used to. When I was pregnant all I thought about was…Getting back to my pre-pregnancy body. I believed this was going to be my only challenge, boy was I wrong. Honestly though, this was my focal point, why? Well because society is constantly focusing on the physical aspects, of EVERYTHING. Not our emotional and spiritual well-being. When people see you postpartum “Oh you look GREAT, things MUST be good because you don’t look like you just gave birth to a human that doesn’t sleep and sucks the life out of you” (LITERALLY!) Oh yeah, things are phenomenal. But how am I mentally do I look depressed? Because on the surface I look great but inside I am silently suffering and searching for the “old” me that seems to be hiding. Ask me then how I truly feel and actually LISTEN to me. I guess we all like to assume life is great after having a baby, many aspects of it are absolutely beautiful but some are very dark and lonely. I think society is finally bringing light to this topic however its still in its early stages.
B.C. “Before Children”
Unfortunately new mothers suffer some severe sleep deprivation. My husband just told me “I love when you get sleep you’re so full of life” THANKS! But I get it. I feel like “me!” The old Domenica thats been hiding out, the spunky, hilarious, easy going FUN girl. I am not complaining about being a mother and I do not want to sound ungrateful. But I miss the old me, and we are allowed to miss our old life. I believe that I can offer Scarlett a lot more by being truthful and REAL with myself and with friends and family instead of painting this picture perfect life, because it’s NOT. Hence the title of this post…Listen, don’t overload your crap to the world making it seem you are just PERFECT because you’re not, you’re just like the rest of us SURVIVING. Why can’t we as women just be honest?! Support eachother, not JUDGE eachother. When people ask if I want more kids…I just give them that “go to hell” look (I know it isn’t nice but my God why are you asking me that?! LOL). Labour was hard! Raising children is HARD and mind blowing, so when I hear people saying they can have 4, 5, 6 more I just look at them with the look of death and ask “WHY?!” But really though, you are no better than me because you want 4 kids and I don’t. You are no better than me because you make it seem to the world and social media that your kid is perfect and your life is picturesque with no hardships (do not believe everything you see, people over compensate when they are lacking, remember that). Give me a break, enough with it. When you show people vulnerability and humility the response in return is usually positive. If it isn’t well it might be because deep down you see flaws and weaknesses within your own self.
I really hope this post made some sense to you. By no means it should be seen or taken as offensive. I am speaking from the heart. Real talk, take it or leave it.
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