How-to Survive the Holidays when you Celebrate 4 Christmases🎄🎄🎄🎄
Updated: Jan 16, 2018
Well this Christmas was one for the books (don’t we say that every year?!) It definitely always has some highs and lows. Yes. There are lows. Listen, the holidays are not an easy time for alot of us. It brings back some painful memories, depression and anxiety are always at an all time high during this high-traffic season. This year, it was special. It was different and my God I am so grateful for all the celebrations we were apart of. You see, last year was very very difficult for me. I had began my journey with postpartum depression. It was brutal. I didn’t want to celebrate, see anyone, I hated Christmas as a family of 3 I was feeling really really low. However this year? It was magical. Maybe because I had ZERO expectations? Last year there were expectations; Scarlett’s first christmas, its going to be amazing, first christmas as a family…blah blah blah. No. NOPE. I was miserable and all I wanted to do was cry.
What you see are pictures with beautiful smiles. Yes. I was smiling, but what you don’t see is the pain and agony I was feeling in my heart. The picture on the right was my In-laws annual Christmas dinner, I cried on the way, during and on the way home. The left, our first christmas picture. I tried so so hard that day to be perfect for that moment, so I can show the world that we are that perfect family, I was the perfect Mother, wife blah blah. Nothing but BULLSHIT. So incredibly false and far from reality. Do you find yourself doing this? Pretending to be perfect? Wanting to show the world you’re just that perfect person/family/wife/mother? Well stop. Don’t. It just causes mental illness, an ulcer, dis-ease and a whole bunch of other really unnecessary things.
Fast forward to 365 days later? This Christmas was just amazing. HONEST. Was it perfect? NO! But was it SO MUCH BETTER THAN LAST? 100%. Did my husband and I argue…YESSSSSS. Was it stressful? Yes. Was I feeling like moosh at moments YES. We are human, but what you want to do, to hope to achieve, is living and going through life with ZERO expectations. Yes. NO EXPECTATIONS. And this my friends is HOW WE SURVIVED OUR 4 CHRISTMASES. Don’t have these preconceived assumptions, connotations of how things are “supposed to be”. Also, instilling the attitude of gratitude. Yes. Be grateful for every fricken second. Remember how LUCKY you are, and be compassionate for crying out loud. Some people are going through wars and battles in their lives, people are lonely, depressed and just overall sad. BE NICE. Don’t make it all about you and your ridiculously expensive wishlist. NO. Don’t spoil your kids with way too many gifts (which they won’t even play with half of them). Make it about family and make it about love. Spend as much time with the people that love you. Thats exactly what we did this year.
We spent quality time with each of our parents. Just in case you guys don’t know our family dynamic…here it is:
Both our parents are divorced. My dad Frank remarried Judy (my Stepmom) and I have my Mother Vicky.
Anthony’s Dad remarried Marisol (Anth’s stepmom) and his Mother Gina.
Hence the four Christmases.
Christmas Eve we hosted, Christmas day my Mother-in-law, Boxing day at my Dad’s and a few days later my father-in-law hosted.
We wouldn’t change it for the world. We are so very lucky for all the love we have from our families. Yes. It gets hectic. But if you go through it all with that attitude of gratitude with NO expectations then you will see how beautiful and easy going life could potentially be. I’m not saying not to feel other emotions, look people are going to get under your skin, I get it. But don’t let things stick for too long and don’t expect people to change. Just be you and focus on YOU. Oh. I forgot to mention one more thing to help you survive these Family celebrations…VINO, WINE, DIRTY MARTINIS (obviously be responsible about it)…and medication. All jokes aside my medication has been my saving grace, but that topic is for another day my friends.
Peace and love to each and every one of you during these last few hours of 2017. Looking forward to sharing more beautiful memories with each and every one of you. ✌❤
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