The First Birthday Milestone🎂🎊🎉🎈
Updated: Jan 16, 2018
We just celebrated my Little one’s First Birthday last weekend and let me tell you it was emotional. I was a mess the night before. Nerves and anxiety flooded through my bones. I wasn’t anxious about the party no I was looking back on pictures of her and I felt so terrible that I had suffered so much with my postpartum depression that I might have missed out on special moments of her life. My husband keeps reassuring me that I am such a strong woman and the BEST Mother to our little girl. But still my heart aches and I can’t help but feel that emptiness from the aftermath of my PPD. Its an ongoing process. I am still healing and I will continue to get help for as long as I need.
We celebrated with yummy food (all made/prepped by myself and my sous chefs: Dad, Stepmom and beloved Mother) they absolutely came through for us that day.
As much as we celebrated her first year milestone this was a celebration for my husband and I for surviving our first year of Parenthood. This past year has been the best, the worst, the scariest and the most rewarding. Its been a whirlwind of emotions. Truly an emotional rollercoaster that I’m not sure will ever end.
I would have never made it out alive if it wasn’t for my Family. They were my rocks, my shoulders to cry on, my saving Grace, truly they were my angels.
Noone talks about the dark side of motherhood. I have never felt so alone in my entire life and when you do find the courage to speak out some mothers just look at you with that judgemental face of criticism (you know which one I’m talking about!). It’s intimidating. It’s scary. It makes you second guess everything you believe in and close up and become afraid to speak outloud ever again.
So I have a few messages for us Mothers and Mother to be’s out there (please don’t take any offence, you know how I roll #realtalk #momtruth): STOP.LOOK.LISTEN you never know the shoes people are walking in. Stop assuming. Those women that you’re judging are alone and afraid. They are suffering silently because they too want to be that perfect mother but too ashamed to admit they need help. Unsolicited advice does nothing for noone. We don’t care what special talent your kid has, we are celebrating the mere fact that we got a shower in and managed to get out of the house before 3pm! Get help. Get help. GET HELP! Postpartum depression/anxiety sadly affects so many women. Talk about it with someone. Anyone. I find solace in speaking with complete strangers. Whomever it is let it out. Don’t try to be that wonder woman Mom. No one cares none of us have our shit together so just stop pretending to be perfect. If the best thing you do is survive then you’ve MADE IT MAMMA!
Peace and love✌❤
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