The impact of that LBD (Little Black dress)💋💄
Updated: Jan 16, 2018
Who doesn’t love a little black dress?! I for one don’t have many black dresses…honest. However this one in particular moved me in a way that is hard to explain. I will try my best here and I know some of you will “get me” some may not and THAT’S OK!
So, lets go back to July 2nd 2016…Scarlett was born. I became a Mommy. I was Mommy first, Domenica second. I had lost who I was. It’s fine I get it, but for how long I’d ask myself. Forever?! No that’s nuts why would people want to become Mothers if apart of their being dies?! I keep questioning myself this to this day (no joke, I do). I feel like half my body/mind/spirit was cut off and I had a new one to replace it, one that I couldn’t get to know beforehand, no she just arrived and she was a petrified, horrified first time Mommy. Not that fun to be honest. No she was a boring, always worried, depressed, sad, anxiety-stricken, uptight woman that was slowly taking over all of my well-being. If you talk to any woman that has gone through this they would have to agree with me. However they wouldn’t out loud, no, they would nod and smile and keep reciting to the world (social media) that “this is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I love my child” (and this is totally OK and allowed). Noone is EVER going to question your love for your child/ren. No. What I am trying to point out here is the mere fact that women really have a hard time admitting to the REALNESS that is happening to them physically, mentally and spiritually. We know you love your kids, we know you love being a Mother, but what the world needs to hear and especially those women suffering with Pospartum depression, anxiety and psychosis is that you are just like them, alone, tired, scared and confused.
You’re probably thinking where the hell is she going with this, well I had to explain myself from the beginning. Trust me the significance of this black dress comes into play very soon.
Needless to say I felt lost and my soul was in desperate need for some healing. Ever since becoming a Mother I’ve been on my own little journey to bringing back the old me. Yes. The old me. I miss her. She was spontaneous and a LOT OF FUN! Let’s be honest its impossible to live like we used to before children BUT we can have moments in time that bring our “old selves” back. For example a weekend away? A night out with your partner, a lunch date with a girlfriend. Well my friends I felt transformed this past weekend at our bff’s wedding. I had this planned all along, this Mamma is going to party like a ROCKSTAR….ANYWAYS! Scarlett was the flowergirl, as much as it was beautiful and sweet I was fighting in the trenches of WW3. Not easy. My husband was a groomsmen therefore leaving me to tend to my daughter all day. Thank God I had my dear Mother helping me or else…I don’t think I’d make it to the reception Saturday night. Significance of the LBD is coming into play soon I promise. A few months back I purchased this dynamite of a dress at a store in Kleinburg. Femme by Christina is the name of the store and this dress was 80% off with a grand total of $35!!! Right?! So, I put it on. I immediately saw myself in a whole new light. I saw Domenica. I saw Domenica “BC” (before child). She wasn’t lost, she was right there all along but it was as though she’d been lost.
I told my Mom “this is the dress that I’m wearing to the wedding”. I was determined to look amazing. Lets be honest. It takes a lot of time and effort now to put ourselves together. Not just a quick fix, NO. This whole ensemble took me a week to create. Yes. Between the hair, make-up, spray tan, to my eye lashes and the shape wear underneath (YES SPANX, IS LIFE) it was worth it let me tell you. Worth every penny, every minute, every struggle.
We danced. We drank. We genuinely made this night special. I savored every moment and relished each encounter that night. For most it was just a wedding reception. For the Bride and Groom it was their happily ever after. For me it was my comeback. Yes it was. I wasn’t Scarlett’s Mommy that night, I was Domenica. I was me. I felt as though I had been reincarnated back to my old self. When discussing this with my therapist she told me to continue creating these moments for myself. Keep the vibe alive. Continue getting excited about life and not to lose hope because I am in fact not lost but so very present in this life.
So that little black dress did more for me that night than any one person has done for me in these past 16 months. The significance is greater than I could ever imagine. I was determined to recreate my life for just one night. And I surpassed my expectations.
The moral to this whole experience is that we should never forget who we once were. No. We need to relish the times and moments that keep our souls alive. We need to constantly feed ourselves these beautiful and unforgettable moments in time to remind us that when life gets too crazy, its OK to want to escape back to this. (Do not feel guilty to miss these days and want to escape, no!)
As Mothers, please do not lose sight of who you were before baby. And if you have, do not worry. She’s there. Allow her to resurface. Your inner self will thank you immensely. Let go every once in awhile, you’re allowed. Go and buy that LBD, you, so very much deserve it.
Sending you love and light. ✌❤
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