The Orofino's are growing: Tales from The First Trimester
Yes! The Orofino's are growing + 1 by next June 2019😍😍😍 We are super excited, scared, happy, nervous, over the moon with gratitude and petrified out of the mind. Yup! You really can feel all those emotions at the same time. Scarlett has been and will always be my baby girl, but I can not help but feel happy to give her a sibling but at the same time so sad that I am going to share my love with another child ( many of you have told me, its not sharing, its the same love, we just have MORE of it). My postpartum depression was so bad that I was absolutely petrified to bring another child into our family, so for a very very long time I had convinced myself that Scarlett was going to be an only child. I felt the guilt, oh the guilt I had felt. I had asked myself "am I being selfish for having only one child, am I selfish for withholding this from her" but really in the end, it is NOT selfish. No, our health, your health is NUMBER 1. When Mama isn't well, everyone suffers. From what I have learned, grow through what you go through. I've grown tremendously since having Scarlett, I have felt the cold, bitterness of the world and the warm sunshine from all the love. Maybe if I hadn't gone through it all, I wouldn't be where I am today?
Then one day my husband convinced me to start picturing our life with another little one, a sibling for our Scarlett. Who are we kidding she would LOVE to be a big sister one day, and that would be the best gift we could possibly give her (if we were able to God Willing).
Scarlett will be 3 by the time the new baby will be with us (just shy of a month) and I think that age gap is perfect (for us, especially for me). I am beyond grateful for this miraculous gift that God has granted us, not a day goes by that I do not thank him for all our well wishes.
The questions I get asked the most from A LOT of people "are you afraid of getting post-partum depression again". Let me tell you something, I got pre-natal depression, depression during pregnancy. My first trimester was such a dark and low time for me that I had these thoughts of regret, guilt, sadness and I was extremely overwhelmed every waking moment. I felt inadequate, not even sure how to mother my own toddler anymore. If you have ever experienced this, I am so sorry, you are not alone and it does eventually pass through. Talk about it with people, it doesn't help though when you do mention it to people and they look at who like your F*cked up. I'm sorry to be blunt here but its TRUE. How are you feeling? any morning sickness? I would respond with "meh not so much the physical pain, more of the emotional pain and anguish of having another baby and worrying about Scarlett..." They would respond, "what emotional pain, you're LUCKY, be grateful and stop looking at the negative" . See my friends, that's whats wrong with society, women will NOT come out and talk about their feelings and therefore create this sense of loneliness, this dark hole and create illness within themselves. And not to mention these responses would come from WOMEN themselves, mothers as well!
There is A LOT more to talk about on this topic so I figured I'd break it down within trimesters. Every trimester is different and emotions vary throughout our pregnancies. So, I will be posting about some other maternal mental health topics in the next coming weeks. Thank you for all for being on this journey with me, it means the world to me to have received such an outstanding amount of support, especially from complete strangers! Continue to follow along in my journey through my social media channels. I'll attach them below.
Keep on smiling, and being your fab self!
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