Why I call myself an Influencer now
As most of you know I've delved into this role as an influencer kind of overnight. Not really sure how it all started but it has been a lot of fun not going to lie. My purpose behind The Sizzlin and Livin Mamma was to speak my truth about Motherhood. It was solely meant to end the stigma around mental health and allow for an outlet for others to speak out about their feelings. I began to speak out about the raw emotion and reality of the dark side of Motherhood that noone tells you about. The feelings of helplessness, loneliness, the confusion, the guilt (oh my the guilt!) I was honestly puzzled at how many women wanted to become mothers and constantly questioning my own purpose...some of the thoughts racing through my head:
"why are you feeling this way?, what is wrong with you? you probably aren't doing this whole Motherhood thing right! Shame on you, this is supposed to be the happiest time of your life and you are acting ungrateful, your daughter is perfection, she's better off without you!"
These were my thoughts 24/7. No joke. That is why I hated my life, I hated everyone because NOONE WARNED ME THAT IT WAS GOING TO BE THIS WAY! The movies don't depict #realmotherhood, no no no the movies depict fantasy scenarios where babies sleep, motherhood is glorified, parenthood is a blessing. Now, please do not get me wrong. It is A MIRACLE. I would never take this away from anyone! My heart aches for those that are robbed of this, these opinions and feelings are of my own tribulations as a mother. I have a chemical imbalance. I have postpartum depression. I am on medication. I initially got help and currently receiving help. So, by no means am I saying this is everyone's story, journey, no. This is MY JOURNEY. Please do not feel ashamed or alone if you happen to feel these feelings as well. It's not you feeling this way, no. Our mind plays tricks on us and it is out of our control. I remember constantly asking my own Mother: Why would people willingly go into this profession knowing that it tears you apart physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. You are left with NOTHING. You have this baby that needs you and you don't even have yourself anymore. You are lost. You are gone. These were the feelings. They didn't leave me until very recently (postpartum 19 months). Will it stay? When does it go away? WHO KNOWS. I wish I had these answers.
But going back to the influencing and my purpose delving into this role. I solely wanted to provide an outlet for women, mothers predominantly suffering in silence as I once was. I felt alone. I felt all these things mentioned above. I wanted to give a little insight to my life and what keeps me going and what gets me by. I wanted to show you all that being depressed isn't what society depicts it as. I wanted to show you elements that can help you if you are in fact depressed. Like Self-care. I am a huge advocate on maintaining and indulging in some sort of self-care EVERY SINGLE DAY! Have a hot coffee, talk with a girlfriend on the phone, take a shower, read a book, get your nails done, blog about your daily trials and tribulations online, eat a chocolate bar, go to the gym! I then began vlogging to the world of Social Media my day to day routine, I'd blog about it and then began to receive support and feedback from complete strangers and women telling me "I feel the same way, why doesn't anyone talk about this?". I guess my purpose behind this whole thing was to bring light to this very dark topic around maternal mental health and treat it as a journey rather than a battle. I show you that my postpartum journey doesn't define me but it is apart of me and I am not ashamed about it at all if anything I am proud, and find joy in this rollercoaster God decided to gift me. We are only given what we can handle. Part of my journey is to spread this to as many people as possible and reach millions and millions around the world. It does not happen overnight but at least we are talking about it openly. We can all agree on that.
The truth is, I am studying to be a life coach. Yes. So this influencing gig is the icing on the cake. People gravitate to me merely on the fact that I am relatable. We do not live in a fancy house or neighbourood, I grew up in Toronto, come from a blended family. Parents are divorced, we LOVE our Stepmother, my Husbands parents are divorced (so its blended on both sides). I volunteered in Tanzania, Africa many years ago, I've got a few University Degrees and a Masters, my husband works construction, we live within our means and we've got a 9 year old Pug named Maddie. Do I like the finer things? YES. Do we indulge, YES. Are we happy, HELL YES! Do we argue? YES. Do we always cuddle and whisper sweet...NO. We do not and I'm not going to portray that on my Social Media feeds because that is not what I am about. I am #real #authentic #genuine #sincere I do not suagr coat things we see enough of that stuff on Television and the Movies. I talk about the issues and topics that are tough and taboo, I am not afraid to share my opinions and I welcome yours. I support and help guide those that need it. I am a nurturer, I am a listener and I am a giver. I want people feeling fulfilled and appreciated after they see me or read one of my posts. I want to help them feel good about themselves. Maybe thats why I became an Influencer? People just genuinely like me and believe in my passion as much as I do. What I promote and advertise are all things I truly believe in. Yes. It's not all about the $$ and fame. No. If you genuinely enjoy my feed, keep watching, if not, thanks for stopping by.
Lastly, I'd love to hear from YOU. All of you, leave me a comment, a thumbs up, a heart, whatever. Share it to your social media feeds if you want, if not no worries. Take care, sending you all peace, light and love. The Sizzlin and Livin Mamma ain't going anywhere...but right now I am because I have to write up a few more blog posts on some of the KICK-ASS brands I've worked with. Stay tuned, sending you so much love! xoxox
Ciao for now...